Pattern 1: As an infant, how you initially managed and responded to relationships was managed by gene expression. This gene expression, in interaction with your developmental environment, led to the development of what scientists call an Attachment Strategy. Your adult Attachment Strategy is an expression of your comfort with emotional closeness….and effects hundreds of behavioral, cognitive and emotional patterns of relationship behavior.
Pattern 2: During your developmental process, people who are emotionally important to you interact with your developing Attachment Strategy. You internally experience powerful emotions and these interactions are repeated thousands of times and are stored in your brain. The memories of the stored emotions become your Emotional Self-experience. You keep creating interactions with others that reinforce your Emotional Self-experience.
Pattern 3. As a way of managing negative emotions in your self-experience, and based on your attachment strategy, you develop one pattern of behavior you believe will solve the relationship problems you are experiencing. You replay this pattern over and over again. This is the pattern you keep telling yourself you won’t do again…yet you keep doing it again and again. We call it your Personal BluePrint.
Pattern 4. Your brain remembers and catalogs, then works and reworks your memories of how you feel about your self as you manage your important relationships. Due to how the brain manages memories, you become a Narrative in your brain. Your life follows your Narrative as ‘what’s in your heart comes out of your mouth’. How your brain describes you to you becomes a driver of your life.
Pattern 5. As life continues into adulthood, you find that in most emotionally important relationships, roles and interpersonal processes are continually repeated. We call this repeating of roles and processes, your Attachment Process. You may wonder why you keep falling in love with ‘the same person’ and the relationship isn’t successful.